the talking bear

It's time for...

The following months are showing to be pretty full, not just from a personal point of view, but from a professional one also. Most changes will happen on the radio front, as I hope to be hosting my own show from July on the Polish Radio External Service, which (I have been told, at any rate) will also be broadcasting on FM in Warsaw and then throughout Poland in the near future (that means within a year or so probably...). Of course I shall be keeping you all up to date with that front. Also: teaching at TEU until the end of the semester, and then... Another year? Ah yes, and the translation business at Wagony Świdnica. Thank God for automobiles (even if they are quite agèd). I'm going to find out how much travelling around Poland I can take over the next few months. It should be exciting, and I'm looking forward to it, as long as I get paid (harshly materialistic I know, but...).

I think a redrafting of the CV will be in order before too long...

For now though, it's time for...

6 Month Update

You wouldn't have thought that after nearly 6 months of absence (ab-sense?) I would have bothered to update my blog. I feel it a kind of duty. I owe it to a lot of people. I may even owe it to myself. I dunno.

The last six months, and in fact this whole year, has taught me so much about what is real and what is not; what is truth (or something that resembles it), and what are porky-pies, or just plain bullshit. I suppose such emotional conflicts are something that every person has, more or less. But let us not dwell on emotion for too long, as there are things to be told.

I am still an MA student. Although at this point in time I rather I weren't. Last semester I attended class, of course, but there wasn't enough of it.

I worked as an intern at Kraków's International Print Triennial. I was supposed to learn something useful, like do a bit of PR or something. I translated instead. Oh, how I translated. Now I know this blog is about my profession also. But this was incredible. I started to figure out that I was not cut out to be a full-time translator. Nevertheless, I finished the internship after three months (the time alloted by the university), and found myself with a few translations coming in, either from the Print Triennial or from the Bunkier Sztuki, the contemporary art museum. And of course some students keeping up appearances from time to time. I trained one in English for his matura exam. My next-door neighbour's grand-son. No pressure there, then. Luckily he passed. And they say A-levels are getting easy in the UK...

I went on holiday to Italy. Beautiful. I went by train from Poland. It took me forever, because the Italians decided to strike on my ass the day I decided to travel. So I spent 14 hours in Villach, a very picturesque Austrian Alpine town on the border with Tarvisio. The way back was adventurous too, as precision Italian timekeeping, this time, made me run across Vienna station half-naked to catch my ongoing connection to Kraków. But that's really by-the-by. It was fun.

When I got back from Italy I got busy answering the phone. And making calls too. The last two months have done their business. And I've done mine. I have got two new jobs which ideally sit together side by side. At least with the timetable that I have been given. I am now a lektor at a local (Cracovian) private Catholic university, the Tischner European University (Wyższa Szkoła Europejska), teaching English as a foreign language (natch) but also a practical module for the Applied Linguistics course at the university. All pretty cool. Then a month after that I had an (job) interview at Radio Polonia, the English section of Polskie Radio's external service. Two days later I was in the studio reading the news lajw to a global audience. I got my microphone, and am now their correspondent in Kraków.

All this, and of course more. My company has finally started up. Funnily enough, it's called The Talking Bear. And I deal in translation, foreign-language teaching, and advertising. Yes, you did just read that... I have my own stamp, and what is more my very own accountant. Well, I would like to see any of you try to understand Polish tax law!

Of course, not everything is OK all of the time. My mother's best friend Zyta died just before I went to Italy. She was in a coma for about a month. So sad when shit like this happens. She was with us on our holidays in Italy last year, and I, too, have known her for my fare share of time. She accompanied me with her husband Marek on the drive down to the Abruzzo, and lay on the back seat telling us funny stories and engaging in awesome discussion, whether it was about caffè coretto or Florentine architecture. RIP, Zyta. You were truly great.

And then comes today. I'm sitting at home with a cold and a temperature. Translations from the aforesaid institutions never seem to cease, and of course I'm a little fed up with it all. And then a message: Carmen nie żyje. Carmen was a stray dog (bitch) that hung around our house in the Abruzzo. Her full given name was Carmencita (by the people who looked after the house), and she was very friendly, always hungry and extremely playful. Mum got her inoculations done, got her an Italian pet passport and while I was driving with Marek and Zyta back to Warsaw, Mum and Carmen went to Rome and attended the Angelus on St. Peter's Square. Carmen even had her own seat on the plane on the flight back. However, we knew that she was ill. It wasn't long before she became weak, not helped by last winter, with no doubt. Always cheeky and cheerful, Carmen was great company for us, and for the other three dogs in Warsaw.

In the Wawel choir too, two people have died so far this year. One bass and a second tenor.

How brittle life is: such is the way we are made, alas.

To finish for now - one thing that I have realised is this: you can't have your cake and eat it. But you can nibble at someone else's. (That's love.)

I don't know when I'll next post. The best way to listen to what I am doing is here. In fact I might even start taking my radio podcasts that I file with Radio Polonia and upload them here. Perhaps with a bit of off-the-air commentary?

Love you all, M

PS No, I haven't finished my MA. But I will. Promise.

The Chef Special

Yesterday I spent a day in Łopuszna and Nowy Targ with some of my classmates from uni. I managed to hitch a lift with one of them on the way back, yet alas the car (like a true bagnole is wont to do) broke down on the way, about 30 km from Kraków. Anyhow, to get along with the tale, we managed to roll into a petrol station (Lotos in Jawornik near Myślenice (Northbound 7/E77) for any interested parties) before the car conked out. We spent a few hours there, and I don't think I've ever had so much fun on a Saturday night (honest). Jan, one of my fellow passengers, was astute enough to notice the menu that was hanging by the entrance. It offered four dishes (further investigation in the restaurant proved that they in fact were the only things on offer). And this is the crunch: talk about multicultural or ethnic cuisine, this dish had it all:

Kurczak a la frytki w sosie chińskim

Chicken a la chips in a Chinese sauce

Need I say more?

A Picture Tells A Thousand Words

Life has taken it's toll recently. However, I thought I should at least make an effort to write something. I wonder how many of my blog posts now introduce themselves with such lame excuses. Answers on a SAE to me...

I have realised that many of my photos on Flickr are translated into Polish (by myself, natch). With this in mind, I have started up a set with some pictures with a bilingual title or have bilingual elements in them (in the notes, for instance). This is to show Brits how to make steak tatare the proper way, and likewise to show Poles what Brits keep in their larders. A photographic method not just to show language differences, but also cultural ones (hehe).

How not to teach grammar...

I have been teaching English as a tutor for little under three years (with a breal in between), and as a bona-fide CELTA qualified beak for the past month. Not necessarily a career move, I hasten to add, but at least a profession that pays the bills and leaves a little left over for those finer moments in life (coffee on the Rynek, 50 grams of Żurawinówka at the Lokal, and sometimes the pictures with my sweetness).

Books that frighten students

However, there is one part of English teaching that is most challenging: grammar. Teachers don't like teaching it (well, I don't particularly) and students above all couldn't give a monkey's about the virtues of the past simple or a type 3 conditional.

One thing I have also realised is that it doesn't matter who you teach; whether it be the owner of a restaurant, a PhD student studying history, or even a priest. The answer to the question: "So what would you like to take away from our lessons together", is often answered with a wish to be able to speak English (vaguely) fluently about subjects that interest them. And yes indeed, the topics vary dramatically, from the problems facing the contemporary Polish film industry to Italian cuisine &c. &c.

The question of grammar goes out of the window. Not only do students think it's a waste of time, they positively cringe at the idea of having to learn it in the first place. My point is bolstered by a conversation (in Polish, before people start telling me I can't speak English properly) I had recently with a prospective pupil of mine (he shall remain anonymous, as he's quite a decent chap, really). An exerpt (as far as I can remember...):

Me: "OK, and what exactly do you want to learn?"

Student: "Oh, I dunno, just need to be able to speak English proper."

Me: "So I suppose we'll be having to do some grammar then."

Student: "Well, you can teach me grammar, but don't expect me to learn any of it."

Quite. My bad for even mentioning grammar in the first place. I'll just have to sneak it in at some point or other. Maybe after a few years I'll be able to make grammar:

1) exciting

2) fun

3) look tempting (without the use of bribes)

Until then, well, we'll see.

Ahoy!

In order to boost my translation efficiency (quite in what capacity only time will tell), I bought two Polish-English (& v.v.) dictionaries from a second-hand stall the other day. The first was a technical dictionary. Standard fare. The second, however, is a real gem: a marine-nautical dictionary, complete with terms such as: poop deck pokład rufówki, seadog wilk morski, trysail trajsel, and last but by no means least - long topgallant mast bombramstenga... The only drawback: no translation for 'heads'. An important term for any mariner, as I'm sure many of you who are navally aware (I count one so far), would agree!

I'm sure living 500 miles from the Baltic will prove this dictionary incredibly useful. Much more fun than translating texts about intracranial neoplasms, anyway.

Other news... Time to get in touch with the Pink Club. I think it might be the only place in this country where I might possibly get a pint of London Pride, for which I have been craving for about, oh, 5 months now...

Until the next time, me hearties. Arrrrrgh!

Monday Monday - how iconic...

Time for a post... Apart from adding that I am now a qualified teacher (Pass B), have caught up on my sleep and eradicated all signs of CELTA syndrome (see previous posts), I am now getting ready for the Easter break.

Last week I attended the 5th Symposium on Iconicity in Language and Literature - my fiancée gave a corker of a presentation on naming objects (with reference to industrial design) and their respective iconic properties. I've never heard the word 'iconic' or 'iconoclastic' used so much in my life - everything in its own little way seems to have some iconicity built in to it. My laptop (which is now repaired) is something of an iconic figure: it rests in the middle of my desk and everything that surrounds it seems to be of less importance (apart from this month's phone bill...). To look at its keyboard presents one with yet another iconic image - the space bar. By far the biggest key on any board, yet it is used to signify nothing; a void; Ø; a space. How iconic is that? Ultimately this void-space is, in fact, as important as the clusters of 'language' that surround it, whether it be written language or spoken. So important indeed, that when doing a translation from one language into another, spaces are included in the character count (thus 1800 characters including spaces). A mighty linguistic and iconic phenomenon, to be sure.

This 'zeroist' (not nihilist...) approach to language might also work when teaching a language: English, for instance. Indeed, during the conference I met a New Zealander from Florence who has written an English primer (although quite advanced), and yet it has no tables or commands. It does have pictures, a story which is divied up into 14 chapters, and it relies solely on students' emotional intelligence to think about the language they are being exposed to and learn it through emotion and feeling. The 'Ø' in all this is to try and make students think for themselves whilst absorbing the language that surrounds them - the teacher should merely be a guide and not necessarily just a taskmaster. An idea for my IH (International House) classes which I take on after Easter (surely the most iconic celebration in the Christian calendar)...

With Easter Wishes. Z życzeniami na Wesołych Świąt.

Accidental Neologisms?

About a month ago I was helping with some essay marking, only to be taken aback by the imagination of a couple of students who managed to make up new words by the fusing of two different lexical items. I'm sure these were done by mistake, but the results are somewhat amusing. Definitions my own (therefore to be approached with extreme caution).

1) PROTACTIVE

(protective+proactive) adj. refering to sb. who is protective of their conservative stance.

2) MASSACRATE

(massacre+desecrate) vb. to commit blasphemous genocide

Any others?