the talking bear

Kraków Soup Festival - "Super Soup" etc...

Aired on Polskie Radio dla Zagranicy 22.5.2007. Link to report here. Audio (mp3) can be downloaded here.

On a Saturday in May, Kraków’s district of Kazimierz becomes full of visitors from around the world for the annual Soup Festival which is held on Plac Nowy in the heart of the old Jewish quarter. Last weekend provided food for thought for residents and visitors alike, giving warm refreshment after Friday’s ‘Night of Museums’ in Poland’s cultural capital. On a hot afternoon, things got hotter as more than twenty different soups were put on trial and the good citizens of Kraków and beyond were treated to soups made for the occasion by various restaurants from throughout the city. The festival, which is run by the KTO theatre company, is a celebration of what brings people together in a way that transcends quite possibly all cultures on earth. Soup is something that has managed to do that, and with soups from around the world and of varying tastes, the 6th edition of the Soup Festival was more than just a day out.
I met some soup revellers and they told of their culinary adventures:
We had tomato and banana soup, it was amazing, it was fantastic. These French women served it to us and they were lovely, and the soup was beautiful. I don’t think I could eat too much of it, because it’s very sweet, but it was the perfect amount, it was delicious.
What kind of soup did you have today?
This is kapuśniak, and it’s very good. It’s a fat soup, but I’m not afraid of getting fat…
Spirits were high, and as the jury decision was being made for the competition for the day’s best soup, others tried out more concoctions, although there was some criticism from orthodox soup lovers:
I ate Thai soup, with coconut and chicken, and it was really hot you know, but for me, it’s not a soup. I also ate soup with tomato and bananas, but also, it’s not a soup, because a soup for me needs meat, bones, eyes and brain I guess…
I met with Piotr Zajączkowski, co-owner of Edo Sushi Bar in Kazimierz, who was serving one of his soups to the eager crowds:
Can you tell me, what kind of soup are you preparing this year?
This time, we’re preparing soup from asparagus, with salmon, marinated in miso.
And last year, what kind of soup?
Last year was kimu-chi jige, it was a Korean soup.
It was this soup that won him second place in last year’s battle for the best brew, and his asparagus and salmon soup certainly got my vote. Other soups on offer included a nettle and pomegranate seed clear soup, an interesting taste; and a well-heeled red lentil broth, not its first outing at the festival it seemed:
And actually last year I remember trying the same, and it was very sophisticated soup. Yeah I liked it, I liked it actually.
The Soup Festival of 2007 was a heart-warming event, and bringing food to back to basics in the company of friends and strangers alike made for an amazing atmosphere, especially in the setting of a sun-drowned weekend afternoon in one of the most beautiful areas of town. Will this year’s winner, the Thai Galangal soup from the Horai restaurant, make a comeback next year?

Stag Parties in Kraków contd.

The press in Kraków and indeed all around Poland has recently gone nuts about reporting about lagered-up Brits who are coming to Kraków and basically getting pissed and looking for whores.

I find it incredible that Cracovian journalists have only just cottoned on to this. I must admit, since the report (blog post here) that I did last August (broadcast in early September on Radio Polonia, now Polish Radio External Servce), many more bars have turned their backs on Brits engaged in stag activities.

Some recent sources:

Właściciele krakowskich klubów mają już dosyć Anglików, przyjeżdżających do miasta na wieczory kawalerskie. Podkreślają - Pijani Anglicy na wieczorach kawalerskich to żenujący koszmar. Podczas takich imprez macają po pupach kelnerki, tańczą na golasa na stołach i wykrzykują piłkarskie przyśpiewki.

Owners of clubs in Kraków have had enough of Englishmen who come to the city for bachelor parties. They state: "Drunk Englishmen on bachelor parties are a bloody nightmare. During such festivities they tap the waitress' asses, dance naked on tables and scream out footie chants."

from http://w_krakowie.tur-info.pl/p/ak_id,23941,,anglicy,krakowskie_kluby,krakow,w_krakowie,rozruby,pijani,nic_nowego,wieczory.html

and even the Women's section of the daily Gazeta Wyborcza has a whole article devoted to what exactly stag parties are. Or should that be hen parties? You can read it here (in Polish, natch).

Of course, such media representation only shows Brits in their bad light. I have actually met Brits on stag parties who were quite obviously pissed, but nonetheless tame. There's no problem in that; I mean, who hasn't gone on a bender from time to time? But surely these people should respect the fact that this city has people living in it and everyone has the right to get from A to B without being harassed by, well, anyone!

I say this: if the local coppers (both the Police and City Police, Straż Miejska) spoke English and not just turn their backs when they see stagged-up Brits, then there wouldn't be a problem. I reckon that if these men of the law didn't wimp out and took things in to their own hands, then we could have the situation under control, and life in Kraków would be that much better for it.

So I appeal to the local constabulary: learn some English and take matters into your own hands! Or, for my bredren in the force, nauczcie się angielskiego i weźcie sprawy we własne ręce! Dosyć tych pijanych Brytów na Pl. Wszystkich Świętych!

Medical Tours in Kraków

This post goes quite a long way back. It was for a news item for Polish Radio (then Radio Polonia) back in September (?), and since the organisational changes at the station it is no longer in the archive.

I uploaded the MP3 in October last year, but never got round to doing the post for it. Many foreigners come to Poland now to get their teeth done, get plastic surgery, the amusingly-named Botox and all that lovely stuff. My mate Jurek, who lives round the corner, is in the tourist business and organises trips for you western types to come and get a facelift. Check it out!
His site is at www.jorgegroup.pl

Download the MP3 here. (ca. 3,6MB)

To read the article, continue reading below...

Since Poland’s entry into the European Union in 2004, there has been a growth in tourism in the country’s southern city of Kraków. Apart from stating the obvious though, the city’s medical trade has also taken advantage of the Union’s enlargement. Already a few years back there were stories in the British press that addressed the possibility of travelling within the EU to get specialist treatment without the queues and without having to spend too much well-earned cash for the priviledge. Polish doctors have started to make a reputation for themselves, and with the opening of the job market, Polish nurses are making increasing appearances in hospitals and clinics in western Europe, especially in the UK. And of course with the advent of cheap flights to Kraków, specialist treatment is now only a few hours away and costs a fraction of what it would cost in Britain.
Jerzy Postawka, a tourism specialist based in Kraków, is pioneering a new programme for tourists who want to take advantage of Poland’s jewel in the crown. He told me more:
“It’s a medical travel, and basically it’s travelling to get some treatment like, for example, dentists, opticians, and also plastic surgery. I’m insuring the accomodation, they can pick it from different standards and different types of accomodation, beginning from hotels, also with some apartments, then I’m organising the treatment, I’m making the schedule of visits and everything, and I also support them with some attractions, trips, and all the other things they can do during their stay in Kraków. For example, I’ve rented an apartment, quite comfortable, 60 m2 in the city centre for one week, and then I set up the visits during the whole week, to make one tooth and then to make Botox treatment, to remove wrinkles. Basically I’m aiming at all people who need such treatment, and who want to see something new or to visit Kraków, or to do it a different way than usual. Usually these are people who are over 30 years old, and they are just looking for good treatment.”
The cost of treatment is probably the most important factor for people who would want to come to Kraków. Jerzy explains the difference in price, and what you would get in Kraków for the same amount of money paid for specialist treatment in the UK:
“Definitely it’s a way of saving money. I would say it like this, that to come here, including the cost of travel, including the cost of accomodation, including the cost of the other attractions, I mean Auschwitz, Wieliczka, and all the things you want to do, and including the treatment, the amount is the same for treatment abroad, in western Europe, so I think it’s much cheaper and for the same price you get much more, and you visit something and have some attractions.”
I put the idea to Max, a Brit currently on a short holiday in Kraków:
“You know I think I would, because I know it’s a beautiful city, and if you can get the same treatment done for less money here then I think it’s definitely worth it.”
The opinion of Jerzy is to get western Europeans to come to Kraków, take in the atmosphere and relax while the specialists do their thing. Leave yourself in the hands of the professionals, while not paying through the nose for it. For information check the website at www.jorgegroup.pl

Coffee Culture in Kraków

My latest installment for Around Poland, Polish Radio's travel magazine, is about the savouring of coffee in Kraków. Not just that though: much like other towns in this part of Mitteleuropa, or more precisely, the old Austro-Hungarian Empire, coffeehouses are an intricate part of life. Vienna, Bratislava, Kraków, L'viv and all that. Come to Kraków and check out some of my regular haunts.

Broadcast on 12.3.2007 (link to follow...)

MP3 can be downloaded here. (ca. 7,1MB)

Text continued below...

Time for a coffee. The rumble of the Italian espresso machine is music to my ears, much as the silence that comes after it. Sit with me a while in a coffeehouse in the southern city of Kraków, home to some of the best coffee, not least one of the best places to drink it in.

The history of the European coffeehouse goes back to the legend of Kulczycki, a Polish-Ukrainian soldier who fought at the Battle of Vienna of 1683, when King Jan Sobieski drove back the Ottomans. It is said that this soldier found large sacks of coffee beans in an abandoned camp and with them decided to open the first coffeehouse in the city itself.

How romantic, you might say. And you wouldn’t be far off. Kraków has had its love affair with the black gold for a few centuries itself, and in that time the city has become filled with some extraordinary establishments on almost every street corner. One of the oldest coffeehouses still in business in Kraków is Jama Michalika, which is on Floriańska street. It was originally opened in 1895, and was the artistic hub of the city’s cultural crème-de-la-crème. The famous ‘Green Balloon’ cabaret was also formed there a few years later. This was just the beginning of the coffeehouse trend, though…

Times have changed since Jama Michalika opened, and the modern Kraków boasts coffeehouses to suit everyone’s taste. Décor can vary wildly: for instance, the Propaganda café on Miodowa street in the Jewish quarter of Kazimierz; a time warp to Poland’s previous era of Communism with a touch of retro on the dark side. This coffeehouse is a world away from, for example, Botanica, a café on Bracka street which has the air of an orangery, or a large glasshouse.

So I have mentioned but a few places for coffee. But why do people go these places? What is the need? Is it just caffeine? Tomek, an actor and barman in one of Kraków’s coffeehouses, explains the rituals behind the espresso…

… so you come in on a 5 minute break off work, drink an espresso, and then you leave. But you can also make it into a ritual. Throw some magic into the whole procedure. You could get a macchiato instead of an espresso, and when you meet with friends to find out what’s going on, coffee just makes that much more sense. It’s not just about the coffee or its taste, it’s about feeling as if in a far off place for those five minutes.

… from my observations, there are three stages. You can come in the morning, or at least before noon; you get a sandwich, drink some coffee with it,  or juice, or whatever. Then you have the afternoon, when you have what I’ve talking about all along: you come to meet someone, and the most natural way of doing it is over a coffee, without any pretexts. Then comes the evening, when people come to drink, to dance, or do any other multitude of activities…

There is much more to the Cracovian coffeehouse than meets the eye. Each ‘local’, from the Polish lokal, roughly meaning ‘establishment’, is its own very ecosystem. The coffee’s not always important when there’s much more going on around. I spoke to two coffee drinkers about what they thought about the coffeehouse atmosphere. Aeddan, my regular spokesman on such life matters and also currently a university lecturer, and Karolina, a Pole from Canada who is currently studying in Kraków.

Well I think it’s a chance to meet with other people, but it’s also a chance to get lost within a comfortable surrounding, you don’t necessarily have to go to a place where you everyone’s name, but just the fact that of going into the comfort zone of the Old Town, or the centre of the city, where you can sit down and be alone, but not be lonely…

Exactly. There is a difference. There are places where you can sit in Kraków, and you’ll be sat there for five minutes, and you’ll see everyone you know walk past. Think of Bracka or Stolarska. And you know you can go and sit in a café, you’ll meet someone that you know. You can’t just have a coffee somewhere without somebody dropping in…

Well, no…. But sure you can, right? You can go onto Bracka, you can go onto Stolarska, and you know when everyone has their office hours at certain cafés, but you can also go into the secret nooks, where perhaps you’ll see a familiar face, but not necessarily, there are a lot of places to hide within this very confined space…

So it’s kind of intimate and sociable at the same time, which I don’t think very many cities have to offer.

If you want to be seen sipping a smooth espresso on the fashionable Plac Nowy in Kazimerz, why not go to Alchemia. This is one of the most prominent coffeehouses in Kraków, and also doubles up as an art gallery and is a whole institution in its own right. Winter nights are welcoming, and lazy summer afternoons can also be whiled away all too easily. Back to Bracka street in the centre and to Prowincja, where you get an ambient old-time rustic feel, or perhaps conceal yourself in a cupboard at Café Szafé on Felicjanek street?

Whichever coffeehouse you decide to go to, you will always find, especially after a few days of musing over a blend of Colombian roast, that the same people will return. The city is a web of coffeehouses that intertwines with each other, each passing over information and local gossip. Newspapers are read in this city, but the word on the grapevine tends to move that much faster, making the printed press redundant. All coffeehouses are centres of talk. Two great places to go for a chat over an espresso are Manekin on Tomasza street, and also Pierwszy Lokal, the first local on Stolarska street, where much of this program was recorded…

There is no one philosophy behind the coffeehouses in Kraków. Maybe you’ll find a place to define yourself and your thoughts in this amazing city. Maybe you won’t. But it’ll happen over a cup of coffee. That’s for sure.

Crazy Tours of Nowa Huta

I spent a Sunday not so long ago by going to Nowa Huta for a tour in a Trabant. Stalinist architecture and east-German cars go really well together... Originally sent to Radio Polonia on 15.09.2006. Read further for original uploaded material and transcript. Also Flickr photoset here.

UPDATE: Since Radio Polonia is now the Polish Radio External Service, I can't find the link to the podcast. You can download my original version (with extra music) here (10.6 MB).

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, my dears, it’s one of Crazy Mike’s souped-up Trabants, and he’s going to be taking us around Nowa Huta. ‘Nowa who?’ I hear you say. Well, far from the crowds of tourists that pack into Kraków’s Old Town, Poland’s southern city also has a little-known secret, on an absolutely massive scale. Nowa Huta, or ‘New Steelworks’ in English, is a district that is located to the east of Kraków, mainly known for its socialist architecture and huge steelworks that polluted southern Poland for decades. Once our party managed to squeeze into the car, away we went, through the smog-filled haze that the Trabbie left in its wake.

On the way to Nowa Huta, our guide Michał Ostrowski, or ‘Crazy Mike’, gives the lowdown on Nowa Huta and where he will be taking us:

The first stop is the communist restaurant, it hasn't changed so much for the past twenty-five years. Now they have redecorated it a little bit, but they kept the '80s vibration, and it's not so smelly as it used to be, but still it's a really funny place. The time has stopped there, the waitresses, the owner, the decor, it's totally the same you know, but there's no competition here in Nowa Huta, not so many restaurants, and clients don't really care... I'll show you a map of the district, and show you some pictures, tell you where we are...

Once at the café of our destination, anecdotes and some history blend to create a local narrative that describes Nowa Huta. First, an introduction and an example of one of the many paradoxes that the Polish strain of communism had to offer:

The name of the restaurant is Stylish, and it's really in some way... stylish. As I told you, the '70s-'80s decor, not so many changes, maybe there is Coca-Cola and advertising. This was the only city without a church in Poland, but people from the south of Poland, they came, they are very religious, they wanted a church, generally twenty years of fights, riots, they put up the famous cross, the government wanted to remove it, you know. Big story with the church, finally in the late '70s a church is opened in Nowa Huta, a symbolic date that God is coming to Nowa Huta. Very interesting, because you build a modern socialist city, and the payments are extremely dirty capitalist, and the paradox, there's a struggle for the church in Nowa Huta, how the Church appears in '70s, everybody comes after work, helps for free, I can paint so I paint, he's a brick-layer, so he is laying bricks for free, and he is an engineer, so he is making some plans for free, because we are building a church, for us, for the community, so this is clean communism yeah, so this is the paradox that the anti-communist symbol of the church is built in a very communist way.

After taking a shot of vodka and tucking in to some szarlotka, or apple pie, the history lesson begins:

This is called New Steelworks, and it's a district of Kraków now, but it was planned after the War to be a separate city, a model socialist city, the example for the future, the most logical plan, the most perfect city, and of course the town was built for the residents and the workers and their families because they built a big steelworks here. After the War we needed a big steelworks, and we needed to produce. There were of twelve possible locations, and finally Kraków is chosen and there are two theories: a very popular theory is the politics (politicians) decided that the steelworks and the workers' city will be located close to Kraków, because Kraków was conservative, anti-communist, religious city, former capital with a lot of churches, in a way dangerous, they worried about anti-communist rebellion, and there are some facts to show that it can be dangerous for the Communists. Kraków was not destroyed in the War, people were really strong here, and now they write here that politics decided to build it here as a revenge of Communists for Kraków, you know, just to counterbalance Kraków, put it in the shadow, to make people forget about Kraków and think only about Nowa Huta. But it's not totally true, there were a lot of economical reasons, poor over-crowded villages in the neighbourhood, so plenty of labour-force that can come. Good place to locate a steelworks, a big river to supply water, quite close coal mines, so you need coal, and iron, we don't have iron, so we take it from the Ukraine. A really good economical decision to locate it here, actually. It was not only the revenge. In ten years, the government builds a city for 100,000 people, I mean these people built it, so there is propaganda, there are songs about Nowa Huta even, people are coming from different parts of Poland, not so much forced to come here, propaganda makes them come, it's like the Wild West, the place where you go, you get an apartment, you get a job, you get everything that you need.

The best Polish architects are planning the city, the cream of the crop, so it's a really good plan, not many collapsing constructions, quite well organised, and Nowa Huta appears, and as you can see it's based on a semicircle, with a main square, one, two, three, four, five avenues radiating from the square, precisely 45 degrees everywhere, four of the avenues are supplied with tramlines, the tram goes to the steelworks, around half of the steelworks, and goes to Kraków, so it's perfect public transportation. The steelworks is amazingly big, because if this is the city of 100,000 people, the steelworks looks a bit like this, six times bigger than the original city, it was the biggest steelworks in the world when they built it, it's around two and three thousand acres, so it's huge, it's like a big city, with a few hundred kilometres of rails, a few hundred kilometres of roads, so it's amazingly big.

They are fighting to get it on the UNESCO list, I don't know when, but it's the biggest example of socialist architecture, I mean the whole complex yeah, with not so much distribution of different types of architecture, so a local group is fighting for this.

A stroll around the huge Plac Centralny, or Central Square, shows how the city should have developed if it were not for lack of money, something that was all too common in the days of the Polish People’s Republic. Having admired the magnificent buildings and the net of wiring that powers the trams coming out of every corner of the square, it’s back to the Trabant and off to the steelworks for an inspection, before checking out an apartment which has retained its ‘80s style and décor.

The apartment has been left relatively unchanged, and gives you an idea of what living n such a place must have been like. Even the smell was, how to put it, stale… Mike explains, amongst other things, the problems of fruit and the troubles of young love in Communist Poland:

You used to wait like two months to get a fridge, this one's Russian, Minsk, so you had to wait for all the things, you don't go to the shop and buy, but you wait, you arrange, you have to really think, but finally you get everything. There were no fruits, no bananas, oranges, pineapples didn't exist, coconuts and mangoes, and all this stuff. Only Polish fruits. Western fruit was special stuff, families from the west were sending us food, I remember fruit packages. My father was in the States and he was sending us bananas, oranges, with the coconut we didn’t know what to do, and the pineapple, it was like really complicated stuff. When I split with one girl, when I was ten eleven years old, so she split with me because I was not responsible, and I gave her an orange as a splitting gift... You couldn't go the shop and by an orange, maybe during Christmas sometimes, you had to have a family approach (connection).

I like this washing machine it's called Francesca, and what's interesting is that the design is from the 50s, but they were producing Francescas until the end of Communist Poland, so until '89, and it also showed the type of development in Communist countries, that you have the design of something from the '50s, but you make it for as long as possible, because there's no demand from the market.

Crazy Mike has been taking rides to Nowa Huta for the past three years. How do you come up with such an idea though? He told me more after the tour:

I was working in the hotel as a receptionist, finishing my degree in law, so I had a contact with tourists, and once they called me from the hotel, 'there's a couple, they need two hours guiding, so I came with my little Polish Fiat, you know, old communist car, I wanted to take them to the castle, I just used the car as transportation to get to the Old Town , but they've already seen the Old Town, so I had to show them something else, so I took them to some off-the-beaten-path places, and they really enjoyed it, they really had a good time, very chilled out.

And do you have any plans for the future of your business, do you want to buy some more Trabants?

Yeah, I'll buy some more Trabants for sure, I'll extend the offer to some more freaky communist stuff like communist disco, you know, real Polish workers meeting. When we have groups we make a kind of little mayhem, Polish workers pour a little vodka, give pickles, and people get drunk and it's a lot of fun, so kitsch band playing and so we go in that direction, so there's less history, and more socialising, between tourists and Polish workers, that speak no English of course...

So it seems that Crazy Mike won’t be trading in his Trabant for a Ferrari just yet, although a tour around Nowa Huta is made that much more enjoyable when in the back of a genuine East-German motor that runs on two-stroke petrol and sounds like a lawnmower. Mike and his team can be checked out on the internet at www.crazyguides.com.

Stag Parties in Kraków

What will the world say? This is a 10-minute report on stag parties and drunk Brits in Kraków. The official Radio Polonia version varies a little (they cut the AC/DC and replaced it with something a little more... relaxing...). Filed on 21.08.2006. Original Radio Polonia broadcast here (part of the Europe East magazine).

This week I'll be taking a look at bar tourism in Kraków, Poland's southern party capital, where every week-end beer and culture come together in the same sentence, and tourists and residents alike go out on the town.

Since Poland's entry into the European Union two years ago, cheap airlines have broken through into the country’s airspace and provided countless numbers of new destinations in Poland, all under three hours away from airports in the UK. After initial problems with the airport authorities in Kraków over service taxes charged to airlines using the airfield in Balice, where the airport is located, the bubble soon burst. The John Paul II International Airport in Balice is the country's second busiest airport after Okęcie in Warsaw. And most of the traffic is from cheap flights from a selection of London airports in particular, and many other British towns and cities on the Continent.

A new phenomenon in Kraków is the drinking culture of tourists from the UK celebrating a bachelor's ‘stag party’: I say bachelor, but not for long. Hence the celebration of these parties is becoming commonplace as more and more young Brits decide to forget about their fiancées back on the island and get slightly inebriated in the process.

The origins of the East European stag party began in Prague during the late 1990s. The Bohemian jewel was opened up to curious British and other foreign tourists, and quickly made a name for itself as being both a beautiful city and for having ridiculously cheap alcohol.

“Basically it's a lot of stag parties, week-enders, who come here for cheap beer, strip-bars and the like, they're quite boisterous and loud, but not too much trouble. I think in general, Czechs don't know what to make of them, it's a completely different culture, and they're a lot louder than the Czechs. They tend to stick to Irish bars, more so than anything, so they're not really here for the culture. They don't tend to be very adventurous regarding Czech food, or Czech drinks, you know.”

So it's pints of Guinness and all-day breakfasts...

“Yeah absolutely, burgers, breakfasts, Guinness, cider, the same as at home.”

Declan O'Brien, owner of an Irish bar in Prague for more than a decade, has seen the changes over the years. The trend is abating though. He continues:

“The stag-party trade is kind of slowing down a little bit, compared to what it was five year ago, I think the likes of British men's magazines have stopped plugging it so much, with 20p beers and things like this, so I think they're moving further east, Riga and places like this, but now it's starting to quieten down here.”

Moving back to Poland, stag parties are creating havoc for bartenders around the country. Or are they? The reactions in Kraków have been mixed to the onslaught of drunk Englishmen, but not everyone's complaining all the time, as a visit to some of Kraków's bars showed.

“They come in tours, they come every week, they visit us starting Friday and finishing Sunday. They take, I call it ‘tourism drinking’, because they start Friday evening, they visit pub by pub, restaurant by restaurant, but generally, they come here, because we are a kind of pub, this is not a restaurant, this is a place to drink.”

“Generally they are very good, they are very interesting persons, for example yesterday we had two guys from Bristol, typical English guys, and generally I can say that they have fun in here, and what they say about Kraków, they like it very much, and I think they will come again.”

Back at Balice, Kraków's airport, one of the afternoon flights has just arrived from London. Remek, who works at the information desk and witnesses the arrival of thousands of tourists each summer, explains more:

“They come here to have fun in Kraków, I think, they are young people, they got free week-ends and they need to do something with it. There were years when Prague was very popular, there were years when Budapest was popular, right now it’s Kraków, it’s normal, so they are coming here to have fun, so I think they are very happy, actually.”

Of course, there are two sides to the coin. Over the last summer, more and more people have started to complain of bad behaviour on the part of drunk Englishmen. To get an idea of the scale of trouble caused, I asked a city policeman to tell me what he knew. He refused to comment in front of a microphone. On another occasion, in a bar which has become notorious for drunken brawls often caused by the islanders, I merely had to step inside to be turned away. So there evidently seems to be a problem in Kraków with groups of British men causing a disturbance. Many bartenders criticise the English for drinking too fast: a trait caused by restrictive licensing laws in the UK, which simply do not exist in Kraków, where many bars are open until the last customer standing, which sometimes can mean seven or eight in the morning.

Bronek, a computer technician and also one-time bartender, is genuinely upset with the current situation:

“I don’t want to use hard words, but they don’t behave here, they are not very polite, I think that they come here to have a nice party, but they do a little bit of a mess. They want to make signs on the doors that Englishmen are not allowed, because they don’t want to serve beer and other strong alcohol for them because after a couple of shots and a couple of beers, they behave like animals. They are drunk all the time, and then they go back to their place, that’s all. And I don’t like such types of tourists coming to Kraków.”

So I’m on the train from Balice, Kraków’s airport, going to the centre, and I’m here with Daniel, someone who has just flown in from London. So Daniel, you tell me that you saw some stag parties on the plane. What was it like?

“Well, I was sitting next to one of the members of the stag parties itself, and I have to say he seemed the most affable of gentlemen, and he seemed to be coming to a country with more than the intention of drinking himself silly.”

This was his sixth visit to Kraków. But the story is different for those that live here, including British expats, whose number is ever growing. Aeddan Shaw, an English teacher and all-round educator, has lived in Kraków for over four years.

“I think there’s a difference between the people who come here for a holiday, or for a week-end, and the people who live here, really. Obviously, people who live here have roots, they appreciate Polish culture, they try to experience more than just beer and parties. I think it’s getting worse in terms of the number of people coming to Kraków, and their reasons for coming to Kraków. I’m a bit worried we’re becoming a second Prague. Now there are cheap flights to Kraków, when I first came to Kraków, it cost £350 to fly here, now you can fly for about twenty quid, and as long as that’s the case, people will still come here. Hopefully it’s just a stage, it’s just a phase, and then people will find somewhere more popular and fashionable place to go.”

Others expats living in Kraków mention that they feel embarrassed about the situation, thinking that the Brits that come here give them a bad name.

I went out on a Saturday night in Kraków to go ‘stag hunting’.

11 pm and the Rynek is packed with drinkers. Amongst them is a group of Brits on a stag party – the main culprit is wearing nothing but a pair of leather shorts, saying that he is in Poland to be punished…

“Basically we’re drinking loads of everything.”

Enough said… Later, at 2 am, I found a group of Londoners in the Jewish quarter of Kazimierz. This is what they had to say:

“I’m fairly drunk, I’m quite happy really, I mean, I have to say, it’s a beautiful place. Come to Kraków, the architecture, the culture, the Jewish quarter’s fantastic, the vodka, however, takes the biscuit. The vodka’s fantastic. We find most of the English people here quite embarrassing, and we like to think we’re above all that, but we’re not. So here we are, drunk again, here, in Kraków.”

Refreshing to see that the English have retained their sense of humour in all this: locals, however, do not always see the joke. Perhaps, as has been mentioned, and has happened in Prague, the stag parties will move to where the beer is cheaper and where flights still arrive within three hours of take-off. For now though, Kraków, as well as many other Polish and central European cities, has to take the force of inebriated Brits. Just a fad? Or more vodka to come?

6 Month Update

You wouldn't have thought that after nearly 6 months of absence (ab-sense?) I would have bothered to update my blog. I feel it a kind of duty. I owe it to a lot of people. I may even owe it to myself. I dunno.

The last six months, and in fact this whole year, has taught me so much about what is real and what is not; what is truth (or something that resembles it), and what are porky-pies, or just plain bullshit. I suppose such emotional conflicts are something that every person has, more or less. But let us not dwell on emotion for too long, as there are things to be told.

I am still an MA student. Although at this point in time I rather I weren't. Last semester I attended class, of course, but there wasn't enough of it.

I worked as an intern at Kraków's International Print Triennial. I was supposed to learn something useful, like do a bit of PR or something. I translated instead. Oh, how I translated. Now I know this blog is about my profession also. But this was incredible. I started to figure out that I was not cut out to be a full-time translator. Nevertheless, I finished the internship after three months (the time alloted by the university), and found myself with a few translations coming in, either from the Print Triennial or from the Bunkier Sztuki, the contemporary art museum. And of course some students keeping up appearances from time to time. I trained one in English for his matura exam. My next-door neighbour's grand-son. No pressure there, then. Luckily he passed. And they say A-levels are getting easy in the UK...

I went on holiday to Italy. Beautiful. I went by train from Poland. It took me forever, because the Italians decided to strike on my ass the day I decided to travel. So I spent 14 hours in Villach, a very picturesque Austrian Alpine town on the border with Tarvisio. The way back was adventurous too, as precision Italian timekeeping, this time, made me run across Vienna station half-naked to catch my ongoing connection to Kraków. But that's really by-the-by. It was fun.

When I got back from Italy I got busy answering the phone. And making calls too. The last two months have done their business. And I've done mine. I have got two new jobs which ideally sit together side by side. At least with the timetable that I have been given. I am now a lektor at a local (Cracovian) private Catholic university, the Tischner European University (Wyższa Szkoła Europejska), teaching English as a foreign language (natch) but also a practical module for the Applied Linguistics course at the university. All pretty cool. Then a month after that I had an (job) interview at Radio Polonia, the English section of Polskie Radio's external service. Two days later I was in the studio reading the news lajw to a global audience. I got my microphone, and am now their correspondent in Kraków.

All this, and of course more. My company has finally started up. Funnily enough, it's called The Talking Bear. And I deal in translation, foreign-language teaching, and advertising. Yes, you did just read that... I have my own stamp, and what is more my very own accountant. Well, I would like to see any of you try to understand Polish tax law!

Of course, not everything is OK all of the time. My mother's best friend Zyta died just before I went to Italy. She was in a coma for about a month. So sad when shit like this happens. She was with us on our holidays in Italy last year, and I, too, have known her for my fare share of time. She accompanied me with her husband Marek on the drive down to the Abruzzo, and lay on the back seat telling us funny stories and engaging in awesome discussion, whether it was about caffè coretto or Florentine architecture. RIP, Zyta. You were truly great.

And then comes today. I'm sitting at home with a cold and a temperature. Translations from the aforesaid institutions never seem to cease, and of course I'm a little fed up with it all. And then a message: Carmen nie żyje. Carmen was a stray dog (bitch) that hung around our house in the Abruzzo. Her full given name was Carmencita (by the people who looked after the house), and she was very friendly, always hungry and extremely playful. Mum got her inoculations done, got her an Italian pet passport and while I was driving with Marek and Zyta back to Warsaw, Mum and Carmen went to Rome and attended the Angelus on St. Peter's Square. Carmen even had her own seat on the plane on the flight back. However, we knew that she was ill. It wasn't long before she became weak, not helped by last winter, with no doubt. Always cheeky and cheerful, Carmen was great company for us, and for the other three dogs in Warsaw.

In the Wawel choir too, two people have died so far this year. One bass and a second tenor.

How brittle life is: such is the way we are made, alas.

To finish for now - one thing that I have realised is this: you can't have your cake and eat it. But you can nibble at someone else's. (That's love.)

I don't know when I'll next post. The best way to listen to what I am doing is here. In fact I might even start taking my radio podcasts that I file with Radio Polonia and upload them here. Perhaps with a bit of off-the-air commentary?

Love you all, M

PS No, I haven't finished my MA. But I will. Promise.

Połland Turs

The length between posts on this weblog is just incredible. I'm sorry for that. In fact, I'm not going to make up any excuses, I'm just lazy.

Oświęcim - Auschwitz

For the first time recently I went to Auschwitz concentration camp, which is not too far away from here. All a bit harrowing. Auschwitz II - Birkenau is done on such a collosal scale that it is hard to comprehend it at all. It was all a bit phasing, but I went to the archives to get information on a member of my family who was killed there in 1944. It was my grand-mother's grand-mother, a Mrs Wanda Łoskoczyńska. There she was, in the registry. Taken from Pruszków camp outside Warsaw in August 1944 (after the Uprising was under way), she was interred in Auschwitz and killed on the 13.12.1944. R.I.P.

It's really Baltic. Not in the Mazury, though...

I went with friends to the Baltic last week-end. Jastrzębia Góra to be precise. It was cold, wet and windy, apart from one day when we all went to Hel. Now that was cool. I also took a few days off to see Gdańsk (for lunch) and the Mazury (Mazurian Lakes). So beautiful. So calm. I'm going back there. Maybe next year...

Kraków - Yesterday

Walking around Kazimierz yesterday I saw James Cromwell (of Hollywood fame) looking rather lost on ul. Miodowa. Then in the evening I was treated to Craid David performing live in Sopot. He came out with classic lines to get the crowd going. (I've since forgotten what he said, however... Should have written it down).

Kraków - Today

Went to the airport to get Molly's ticket only to find that the BA office was closed. Pah. Getting a few drinnks this evening...

Kraków - Later

I will pay my fees for uni soon. Then it's one year of solid MA madness at the Jagiellonian. This is the second time I've enrolled at the Jagiellonian for one reason or another. Hopefully it won't end in disaster as it did last year.

As for translations, I am currently busy with some. Getting the cash in, you know how we do.

Papa.

30000 kWh

I suppose I have to apologise for my absence for, well, more than a month. I was not in any fit state to write anything of substance (what a surprise) and I thought that a trip to Italy would do me some good, if only to forget about paying any sort of bills for a while.

Kraków. Now.

Apart from death threats from my branch of a certain bank in the UK (alas, I wish I could tell you, but I fear for my life), I had a man come from the Kraków Electricity Company to double check my meter today. At 7.30 in the morning, to be precise. He was a little surprised (and I horrified) to see that in the past 6 months I had managed to clock up 30000 kWh, and that was just on the night tariff (we have two here in Kraków, one day and one night, including 12 noon until 2 pm for that urgent wash or whatever). I didn't know what to say to the guy, apart from that it is physically impossible to run up that kind of mileage in such a short time. It's not as if I have a doll factory stowed in the basement or something. They're changing the meter. They called at 8am just to tell me that. About time: it hasn't been replaced since 1973. Might be suffering from post-communist depression or something.

Italy. Then.

Ah yes. A lovely place. We had no Italians and no German tourists. Just the beautiful Gran Sasso mountains dividing our area of Abruzzo with Lazio. Stunning. Lots of vino di tavola and Caffè Coretto (or however you spell it). Campari was bought in copious quantities for consumption back in Poland, although I'm still waiting for it to be warm and, well, Italian enough for me start drinking it. 5l of vino also came back with me. That's for my house party on Friday (everyone's invited!) which will celebrate the regaining of my partial sanity and the re-decorating of the Palazzo da Miś, which of course has taken a fortnight longer than wanted expected. In fact I'm writing this post with my father making szarlotkas (Żubrówka and apple juice) in the kitchen and Makaron the painter (and friend from the Lokal) singing songs and drinking a Harnaś in the hall.

My photos from Italy can be seen here.

To watch me taking a bomb dive into the pool, click here (Quicktime movie, 3.58 MB).

The Journey. When?

Having driven 4000 miles in the past month I'm going to be finding myself in front of the wheel once more next month when I go on my tour of Poland for a week or two with a friend of mine from London (of course she doesn't know anything about this yet, so keep mum). Until then it's Berlin and Warsaw. Got to love it. Perhaps Prague for breakfast in the not too distant future.

Now. Again.

Right. Bills to pay. Translations to do. Teaching tomorrow. First, though. A drink.

Cześć.

Excuses, excuses...

Having been harrassed by certain members of my family to post sooner, I have been forced into writing this post. Not that I didn't want to, but I'm sure my past silence will become clearer to you all now that... I'm posting this. I apologise in advance if some of my (forthright) views offend.

POLAND (then)

Poland is starting to get back to normal after the events of the past few weeks. I was (and am) in no way qualified to speak about such a great man. The news that has been broadcast around the world has done this job for me, and besides I would have said much the same jibber jabber that has been pumped out during this totally crass media fenzy that we have been forced to watch. All the channels here in Poland pumped out the same old same old. To begin with, I must admit it was the right thing to do. After a few days, however, I was beginning to wonder if this was really necessary (the answer, in retrospect, being yes, sort of). The only news Poland got was about the Pope, meanwhile I'm sure other important things were happening around the globe. May Karol Wojtyła requiescat in pace, as they say. He is in a better place now, anyway. Poles have to come to terms that they no longer have a Pope of their blood - let us hope and pray that the upcoming conclave is able to nominate someone who is suitable for the job. I'm interested to see whether the popehood comes back to an Italian or if someone from further afield will continue the role of St. Peter.

TSCHERMANEE (GERMANY)

Maybe my slight distance to what's been going on in Poland was the fact that on the Tuesday after the Pope's death I had to go to Frankfurt/Main (for the Musikmesse) to translate for one of the bods I work for here in Kraków. Whilst Poland was in national mourning, I had to discuss distribution contracts with top-wallahs from the UK and the USA about bringing their products to the Polish people via this shop (that I work for...). It was tiring, and although I was admittedly in a constant state of meditation about what was going on at home, I had to sit there and mediate about things that, to be honest, could have been done over the 'phone. Our party left for home on Friday morning - I wholeheartedly regret that I was not able to see the funeral on the box. Instead we had to put up with trashy German pop and the occassional news-flash about what was going on in the Vatican.

POLAND (now)

Back to life. Back to work. Back to living. Back to translations. Back to school (so, how messy/scruffy/manicured is your bedroom?). Watering plants. Tidying balcony. Making supper. Doing the laundry. Having an afternoon ziz (I never know how to spell this one). Smoking a ciglet. Drinking tea. Going out for a walk. Possibly an afternoon vodka (Żurawinówka, natch). Thinking about me. Thinking about those I love. Thinking about those I don't love. Thinking about my waistline.

Thinking of you.